Becoming a mother four years ago, I realized that patience was a quality I have taken for granted and just assumed I will remain that patient person I have been, most of my life, and stayed that way all of my years but, how little did I know.
My firstborn came along and although he brought me a happiness I have longed for, he also challenged me in a quality that I so proudly thought I have mastered for years.
A month ago, I was shaken badly by the guilt, and the intensity of how upsetting losing patience could be when all I did, it seemed, was striving to be the nicest, kindness, and fun mother I knew I could be. In times like this, I mostly fall apart, crying for help to make it through a not so unfamiliar rough day. I lost it! I lose it sparingly throughout the month and occasionally, just occasionally though, have a whole week of just losing it again and again. Why is losing patience so much easier than trying to find it? What do you do to find it?
This past month since my "break down", I made it an even bigger goal to find patience daily. Finding patience with myself first, and with my children. I made some "posters" that read FIND PATIENCE and plastered them on the walls of our apartment as a visual reminder to find it rather than lose it and it has worked so far for me. Last week, I finally took them down and I am still working on this goal of finding what I seem to lack as a mother. This month has been a good one so far with no rough days and more peace in my mind and less guilt. I am striving! I am doing! I am not quite there. Slowly but surely. One day, I hope, I will master it again.
I love my children. While they go through their own roller coaster of emotions leading to tantrums and outbursts or plain old refusal of wanting to do what you would like them to, I know I am responsible for choosing to be impatient in those moments. It is me that needs to change! I know it isn't going to happen over night. The challenge is on. The challenge starts with finding patience with yourself first. Here's to finding patience!
OH patience... how I feel the same way! Some days I feel I lose it too quickly with the boys. And overwhelemd because there is no schedule or anything to my day.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow is a new day. :)
Absolutely! Tomorrow is a new and better day... we hope anyway :)
DeleteUne petite fleur prend son temps pour s'épanouir. Elle traverse moult intempéries durant des jours entiers, voir des semaines entières, pour n'être qu'au final, qu'une fraiche, jeune et jolie fleur rayonnante. Elle parait si anodine dans ce vaste champ verdoyant qu'est le monde, et pourtant, elle n'en demeure pas moins très authentique dans sa simple existence.
ReplyDeleteNous empruntons tous le sentier de la vie, et cela à des fins d'exister, dans toute sa complexité, malheureusement pour nous. Mais la paix intérieure figure être une alliée de taille, et c'est exactement sur sa présence même, et ce dans toutes tes entreprises futur et présente, que je te le souhaite. L'harmonie est source de dénouement pour beaucoup et la modération inspire une certaine forme de paix. Soyons comme une petite fleur des champs lexicaux et accueillons cette harmonie des plus plaisante qui nous rafraichit telle une rosée des aubes sans ombres.
Merci mon frere!
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